KAT'S PERSONAL STORY

 

 

 

"Sweet Seventeen"

 

I was 15 the first time I went through treatment.  I had no idea what was going on and wasn’t ready to listen.  I knew it all, and no one could tell me different.  Drugs and alcohol were the only things that I thought made me happy.  I was having fun.  When I was 17 I came back to treatment beat up and ready to listen.  I wasn’t having fun anymore.  I was young and not sure if I was going to be able to stop drinking and drugging.

I struggled, trying to decide if recovery is really what I wanted or if I wanted to continue to use.  I was in treatment during the holidays and came up with an analogy that worked for me.  I thought back to when I was a little girl and couldn’t wait to run to the Christmas tree with my little sister and open up my Christmas presents to see what kind of toys I was getting.  But when I opened the gifts and all I received were sweaters and other winter clothes, I was upset and jealous of the toys Lilly was getting.  It wasn’t until it got cold that I was grateful for the clothes that I got and happy that I didn’t throw them away.  That is how I looked at my recovery.  I wasn’t very happy to have it at the age of 17, but I thought that maybe there would be a time when I would be grateful to have it and would regret it if I threw it away.

Today, I am grateful that I stayed sober.  It’s not always easy, but it is much better then when getting high was the only thing that was on my mind.  Christmas is a much more meaningful time for me because I'm learning gratitude for all the gifts of a clean and sober life and I can reflect on the good that I shared with my little sister way back when.

 

- Kat, 21